Thinspiration

After being super skinny my whole life I didn't see myself turning into a big fat queen.  Albeit it was because of the pills and booze plus midnight runs to the servo...  but I didn't see it happening.  I still thought I was beautiful even though I was huge and had really bad hair.  Like really bad.   I call it my Elizabeth Taylor phase as she loved them pills and booze.  Then I moved onto my Britney phase and lost it completely.  After my embarasing meltdown I'm on the mend.  Just got past the point when you look back in sheer horror at your behaviour.   Now I laugh.  You tend to do that when the pills wear off. 

I'm on a mission to regain my former svelte self.  I've cut out the booze and junk food.  Not popping all those pills helps an awful lot. How I miss the drink but I have many a memory and lots more I'm sure I'll never remember.
What makes it more difficult is that as I have gotten older a diet of cigarettes and coffee no longer do it.  I actually need food dam it.  And I do love me some deep fried goodness which makes things all that much harder.  I've lost 15 kg's so far and about another 5 more and I'll be happy.  Who would have thought happiness was based on how skinny you were? Well I hate to break to ya but it does.  Just like self worth is based on what other people think of you. 

Just in case you don't get it I'm joking.  If I didn't have a sense of humour I would have flung myself from the bridge many moons ago.  So the quest is on and the prize shall be mine.